“All you need to say is simply “Yes”, or “No”; anything beyond this comes from the evil one”.

It was non-residential. We lived off-campus. I was reading one evening and making notes when one of the ladies in the neighbourhood came around to visit my room mates. I was the youngest around.

As she stepped out to leave, she saw me where I was reading and said, “Spencer, I have said you should visit me. You refused”. She took my book filled with personal notes and added, “When you visit me, you will get your notes”.

I really hoped she is still enjoying the note (She was one of the “big” girls around who spends Thursdays till Sunday night out of base).

Honestly, who says you must dig your own grave yourself? Who says you have to prove a point to anyone? With the kind of school I was then, I was already smart to know the choices to make.

Friends, you must learn to draw the lines. Why should you a end that party because you want to please a friend and then now turn back and start complaining?

Do not return to whine when you had an earlier opportunity to say “No”. Every time you flow with the tides because it is easier, you have lost an opportunity to build capacity, learn conviction and set a standard.

The same way conviction is learnt is the exact same way that compromises are mastered – one just seems easier. At the end, the la er is more expensive.

If you do not learn to flee like Joseph, you will end up like Samson. Life becomes easier when people know what you stand for. They will know what to offer you.

Back in my childhood days, when a friend offends us, we will draw a line and say, “If you are the true son of your father and not a bastard, cross the line”. We crossed the line to prove a point. We end up in fights and also with bruises.

Friend, there must be lines you must never cross. If you do, the scars may never fade. Do not try to prove any point. Live with wisdom.


Lord, help me to hold on to the standard of the kingdom.


I operate in divine wisdom. I live by conviction and not in compromise.